Vote For Your Favorite Joke

A henpecked husband...
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He wenthome, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?""I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

Bill Gates and General Motors
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• Bad Investment was a winner against A final diagnosis
• After many years of trying to find steady work... was a winner against Businessman is dying
• Blind pilots was a winner against As a sergeant in a parachute regiment...
• Are caterpillars good to eat? was a winner against All the same
• Brain or muscles? was a winner against A man was leaving church one day...
• Business is business was a winner against An Unusual Vet
• Blonde Nurse was a winner against A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500...
• Boating Trip was a winner against A doctor is complaining to a mechanic
• And God Created Woman was a winner against A man walked into
• A Lawyer Died was a winner against Can I play the piano once these are off?